The Difference Between Dreamers and Doers
Stop watching other people live and start booking your own life
You're not special for wanting adventure. You're only different if you book it.
Mark and I walked into our second flying trapeze class just as a youth group was wrapping up. A dozen young kids, maybe 10 or so years old, were finishing their session, flying through the air, laughing, taking turns on the bar. And their dads? Sitting against the wall. Phones out. Waiting.
Mark looked at me and grinned. “I’m older than those guys. And I’m up here doing what their kids are doing.”
He’s 55. I’m 44. And we were both proud of that.
The whiteboard showed up last summer during a walk through the neighborhood. We were venting about how stressed we were—work was a grind, Mark’s mom needed more care, and we were pouring energy into everyone and everything except ourselves. We had zero time that felt like ours.
So we asked ourselves: What would we actually want to do? Not someday. Not when things calm down. Now.
We went home and grabbed a whiteboard. Started writing. Flying trapeze. Indoor skydiving. Fencing. Glassblowing. Ropes courses. Gardening classes. Slacklining. Weird stuff. Fun stuff. Stuff we’d been saying we “should try” for years. But here’s the thing: the whiteboard isn’t a dream board. It’s a to-do list. And we’ve been checking things off.
I’d been following the local trapeze school, Twin Cities Trapeze Center on Instagram for a while, scrolling past photos of people mid-flight and thinking “That looks amazing” the way you think about a lot of things you’ll never actually do. Then in early December, I just booked it. No grand plan. No waiting for the perfect moment. I saw an opening for a class on December 11th and signed us up.
We went. We loved it. We posted videos.
And THAT’S when everyone started commenting. “That’s so cool!” “I’ve always wanted to try that!” “Amazing! Let me know how it goes!”
So we invited them. Friends. Family. People who genuinely love adventure.
Zero people showed up.
But here’s the ironic part: the classes are always full. Maxed out, every time. So clearly, there are people out there booking it. They’re just not the ones talking about how fun it sounds.
The first swing is a rush. In our first class, we did a little ground school—maybe 20 minutes of instruction—and then we were climbing the ladder. You grab the bar and stand on the edge of the platform with your toes hanging over empty space. You’re leaning out with both hands gripping the bar, the net stretching out below you. One of the instructors holds your safety line so if you fall awkwardly, they can slow you down before you hit the net.
They yell, “Ready... Hup!” And you jump.
The bar swings forward, and for a second, you’re just flying. The net below you, the ceiling above you, nothing but momentum and air. It’s less scary than I thought it would be. I’m a little afraid of heights, but with the net and the harness, it’s exhilarating instead of terrifying. Every class starts the same way, and that first swing still hits like the first time. Here’s one of Mark’s first passes:
But here’s where it gets harder for me: I have BPPV. Benign paroxysmal positional vertigo. Basically, when my head hangs upside down, the world spins. It’s manageable most of the time, but on the trapeze, when you’re supposed to hook your knees and let go, hanging upside down mid-air? Yeah. That’s rough. I haven’t been able to fully enjoy that part yet. But I’m still going. I’ve even started seeing a vestibular therapist to try to fix it, because I’m not going to let a little spinning stop me from doing something this cool.
In that very first class, within an hour, we went from ground school to doing a release and a catch. I let go of the bar mid-swing, reached out, and caught the instructor’s hands as he swung toward me. It felt like a huge win.
By our second class, we learned the hocks off trick. See below. The progression from "I've never done this before" to "I'm doing tricks" happened fast. Here’s my first catch:
Mark thanked me afterward for finding the place. He loves it as much as I do. Maybe more. We also hit up iFLY recently—indoor skydiving—and bought a multi-class pass so we can go back. But that’s a story for another time.
Here’s what I’ve realized: you’re not special for wanting adventure.
Everyone thinks trapeze sounds fun. Everyone says they’d love to travel more, take more risks, do something outside their comfort zone. And here’s the part that really gets me: so many people tell us they “live vicariously” through us.
I never know quite how to take that. Does it mean they feel like they can’t do it? Or that they just won’t?
Because the truth is, Mark and I aren’t more adventurous than anyone else. We’re not braver. We’re not less busy. We’re not in better shape or more financially secure or waiting for some magical alignment of circumstances.
We just decided that “someday” needed a date.
The whiteboard forced that. It turned vague ideas into actual things we could check off. And every time we do, it reminds us: we don’t have to wait for life to calm down. We don’t need permission. We don’t need a group. We just need to book it.
Most people stop at wanting. They don’t book the class. They don’t check the schedule. They don’t make the time. They stay on the sidelines, watching, scrolling, waiting for the perfect moment that never comes. And then they watch someone else do it and say, “I’m living vicariously through you.”
But you’re not living through us. You’re just watching.
This isn’t just about trapeze, or skydiving, or whatever weird thing is on your list. It’s about the gap between wanting to live fully and actually doing it. It’s about being in your 40s and 50s and flying through the air while other people your age sit on their phones. It’s about realizing that the opportunity is already there. The classes are running. The experiences exist. You just have to show up.
So here’s my question for you: What’s on your whiteboard? And when are you going to stop talking about it and actually book it?
Because chances are, you don’t have a good excuse not to.
And if you’d ever like to support in a simple, one-time way, our tip jar is always open.
I signed up for a guided backcountry ski day at the end of the month to learn how to alpine tour/telemark ski. Something I’ve wanted to learn for years (ok let’s be honest, decades).
"You're not living through us. You're just watching" Love this Kris! So true. a) I absolutely love that you're both doing trapeze - this is amazing and not something I had ever thought of.... Mark's next birthday present maybe?! b) I'm totally with you on the 'book it' mentality. We only walked the Camino because I went and booked the flights and then we had to. You just have to book these things or you'll never do them. Love it!